


my love is just waiting

by elisa_pie



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, awkward Richard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 19:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12195801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elisa_pie/pseuds/elisa_pie
Summary: Just a little something I wanted to write about that scene where Richard tells Jared about what happened with Liz. Set during S04E06.





	my love is just waiting

“Are you in love?” Jared asks, the question earnest and matter-of-fact, like Jared always is.

Richard stares at Jared, his mouth moving but no words coming out. What a—what a question to ask, Richard thinks, taken by surprise, despite the topic of their conversation. What happened with Liz was just sex—not even particularly great sex, actually—and yeah, they don’t even know each other, really, so what could there ever be between them? Except Liz’s dissatisfaction with her fiancé, Richard’s horniness and his spectacular ability to fuck everything up.

But that’s not what comes to his mind first when Jared asks him if he’s in love.

Instead, he immediately, instinctively, thinks about the confusing feelings he’s been having about Jared lately. Feelings he’s done his best to push aside. It’s not exactly love either, but with time, with careful attention and a positive response from Jared, well. It could easily be, could blossom into something bigger and better than the fragile thing hiding inside Richard’s heart. And maybe that’s what scares him.

Richard hadn’t even notice when it happened. He’d been sitting at his computer one day, exhausted with all the work and lack of sleep, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Jared, asking him if he was feeling alright. Jared, putting down a cup of coffee and looking down at him with a fond smile on his face. And Richard had felt that weird flutter in his stomach, not the kind that made him feel sick, but the kind that made him flushed and clumsy around anyone he’d ever had a crush on. He almost knocked over the coffee and barely managed to mumble a reply.

So, yeah. If there’s anyone he’s in love with, anyone he has feelings for...well.

Jared’s still looking at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. Always so kind, always so patient with Richard. Some part of him feels that he doesn’t deserve it, any of it; Jared’s undivided focus, his dedication. But Richard can’t help but bask in all that attention anyway, always hungry for more.

“Richard?”

“What? No, no, I barely know her,” Richard answers, shaking his head, all thoughts of the disaster with Liz almost forgotten. 

“Okay. Okay, that’s good. Then—”

“I’m not in love with _her_ ,” Richard adds, the words rushing out of him like he can’t keep hold of them, and he doesn’t even realize at first how—how _incriminating_ it sounds.

“ _Oh_ ,” Jared says, his eyes widen a little, an almost impossible feat since they seemed to be already wide open in a concerned, earnest expression.

Richard buries his face in his hands. _Oh god,_ he thinks, _what have I done now?_

“Richard, are you in love with someone else?” Jared asks, and when Richard doesn’t answer, adds, “Who is the lucky lady?” 

Jared’s grinning, like nothing would bring him more pleasure than hearing about a woman Richard has fallen for. And that—no, Richard doesn’t want that, doesn’t want Jared so damn pleased at the thought. He wants Jared jealous, possessive, like he’d been back when he confronted Monica at TechCrunch. She had told Richard about it later, about being a little shocked, but genuinely apologetic about unintentionally pushing Jared to the side. Richard, on the other hand, had felt a strange sense of pride on hearing about it. To have someone so devoted to him, so loyal and fiercely defending him, well. Maybe pride hadn’t been the only emotion he’d felt.

“There’s no—no _lady—_ ” Richard stammers out, already regretting this, digging a deeper hole for himself and his stupid feelings to sink into. But he can’t—he can’t just leave Jared thinking there’s someone, some woman he—no. He can’t.

“Oh!” Jared says, surprised, but he’s still smiling, looking so pleased. 

"Um. Yeah."

“There is a special man in your life, then? Oh Richard, I am so happy for you, so proud—”

“No—you’re not, h-how could you be this happy, just to hear that—that—”

“I’m happy if you’re happy, Richard,” Jared answers simply, looking like he actually means it, and Richard can’t deal with it, how easily Jared just accepts this.

“Well, fine, okay, but you wouldn’t be this—” Richard gestures towards Jared, hands flailing, “well, _happy_ about it, if you knew—”

“If I knew what, Richard? You can tell me, I swear there’s nothing that would—”

“You! It’s you, okay?” Richard says, his voice gone all loud and shrill with the panic bubbling in his chest. He really hopes he’s not going to throw up, because if there’s one thing that would make this awful conversation even worse, it’s that.

“You’re the—um. Special man. In my life. It’s—it’s you, Jared. I lo—um. I like you.”

Richard hugs his arms around his stomach, fighting the feeling of nausea. He closes his eyes, unable to make eye contact or think of anything to say.

“Oh, Richard,” Jared says into the silence, his voice soft and quiet. 

Richard can’t take this, this gentle letting down, the kindness and pity he’s sure he would see in Jared’s eyes if he was brave enough to look at him. He briefly considers turning around and finding his way out of the garage without opening his eyes to save him from any further embarrassment, but abandons the plan immediately. He’d probably just manage to fall over.

Then he feels lips pressing softly against his own, the touch so sweet and gentle, so surprising, that his own mouth opens on a gasp. The touch is gone just as quickly, just as Richard opens his eyes. Jared’s blushing slightly, and Richard isn’t quite sure what’s happening. Did Jared really just _kiss_ him?

“Was that alright?” Jared asks, and his face is still so close, his hand reaching up to touch Richard’s hair, and Richard wants nothing more than to lean in and kiss Jared properly. But he's still afraid that this—Jared wouldn't kiss him just to be nice, would he?

“Yeah,” Richard breaths out. “Of-of course, Jared, god, I just fucking confessed my feelings for you, will you just— _please_ —”

With that, Richard reaches for Jared’s shoulders and pulls him in for another kiss. Jared’s lips meet his, still soft but more eager now, kissing back instantly. Richard sighs into the kiss. Jared seems to be as into it as he is, but he hasn’t really said anything, and Richard’s trying not to worry because it all feels fucking amazing, Jared’s mouth on his, Jared’s fingers in his hair, and he never wants to stop.

They barely manage to pull apart in time when the door to the garage swings open and Dinesh and Gilfoyle walk in. Richard looks down at the floor, sure that his face is bright red.

“Hey Jared did I miss any calls?” Dinesh asks.

“Not a good time, my man,” Jared answers immediately, his voice a little breathless.

Richard gapes at him, missing most of the conversation around him. Jared looks so good, and Richard feels that wonderful, fluttering feeling in his stomach again. _I did that_ , he thinks. _I made Jared blush. I hope he liked it._

“It might be sexual in nature,” Gilfoyle says, and Richard blinks, confused. What are they talking about again?

“I think I can handle that,” Jared says to the guys, and gives Richard a significant look. It’s practically a wink.

Dinesh and Gilfoyle leave and Jared’s about to follow them when Richard stops him with a hand on his arm. Jared turns to face him.

“Jared, uh. So, just making sure, but," Richard gestures with his hands before holding his arms awkwardly around himself again, "do you like me too?"

“Oh, Richard, of course I do, so much," Jared says in a rush and steps closer, taking hold of Richard's arms. 

Jared looks him in the eye, and there it is again, all the attention and all the love Richard craves for. And just before Jared pulls him in for one more quick kiss, he smiles, so full of joy, and whispers "I love you," like it's the most wonderful secret.


End file.
